Please! For the love of all that is holy, please don’t make a sound. Ellie has not inhaled one time today. From 6:45am and 12 hours later, she has not stopped talking once. This entire day has been one sentence. I managed to escape for a moment of solace in my office.

Oh crap. I just heard “where’s Mom?” from the other room.

Ellie: Oh, there you are Mom!

Me: Hi Honey. Please give me five minutes alone to finish something.

Ellie [putting her head on my shoulder and looking up at me]: You mean, “Ellie could you be a lamb and go in the living room?”.

Me: Yes, sweetheart. If you could be a lamb and go in the living room for ten minutes, I will buy you all of Cabo for your sixteenth birthday.

Due to the sensory issues of my CrickTishAngelBabyBiscuit, music is unwelcome in our home with a small handful of exceptions:

1) The lullaby CD at bedtime. And I mean, the one and only. God help us if it ever gets scratched.
2) Good Luck to the Barleymow
3) Pave Paradise
4) We are Family
5) Car radio music only when specifically requested
6) The jumping on the bed CD – to be played only while jumping on the bed. God help us if it ever gets scratched.

Numbers 2-4 must be played in order. My singing along with 2-4 is acceptable only after the pulls from my office blinds are placed on each of the conductor’s index fingers like thimbles. All other music is played while the wee one is asleep or in Brussels. As a lover of the Christmas tunage, this is a difficult one for me. However, my spirits were lifted when I received requests for singing them. Unfortunately, for the rest of you, along with standing room only at our house this holiday season (please see post below), my voice will be the Christmas background music here. On a good note, we’ll have plenty of wine for you.

I know it’s a tad early, but I put up Christmas decorations. I wanted to do it before the official chaos of the holidays is unleashed. This gives Ellie a few days to adjust to the rearranged furniture and “items” (her term for anything belonging to her). So far so good. The only glitch for her tonight was that her dining room chair was relocated but she rolled with the punches on that one. I wonder how many times over the next few weeks I’ll get away with, “You know honey, we had to do that to get ready for Santa”.

The only glitch in this for us is seating, which completely passed by me on the radar. I removed our volkswagen beetle-sized ottoman from the living room which happens to be a popular location for lining up “items”. Apparently the only viable option now is the couch. At this moment, we have a palm frond, three Christmas tins, two Santa ornaments, a clip, a key chain, and turkey artwork made at school (which, I was informed, could not be hung up anywhere in the house because we don’t have string) in a perfect line on the sofa. So, unless you can wedge your fanny between “items”, please prepare for standing room only at the Wilson Estate this holiday season.

For the first time, ever, Ellie played in her room by herself today. She went in, shut the door, got naked and played with a stuffed dog. For thirty minutes! For the first time, ever, I felt like Ellie got a glimpse of what it’s like to be a typical kid in her own house. Then, she ran up and down the hallway. Naked. She looked so free and I’m not just talking about the naked part. It was such a nice diversion from my consummate rule-follower always searching for things and ways to line things up and create order. Three cheers for naked hallway running!!

Despite having a law degree, a good man will work part time (3rd shift) stocking tampons at Target to bring in some money for his family. That same man will also mention that the first shift stockers aren’t thorough like they should be, separating the super absorbent from the regular. He will also turn down a temporary, full-time position with Edward Jones so that he can participate in a two-week, intensive Autism training class for his beautiful little girl. I’m so glad he’s mine.

Me: Ellie, why don’t you bring your bucket of people in here and we can play together.

Ellie [whining]: I don’t want to! Pleeeeeeeeeazzze read me the scorpion book again.

The largest scorpion measures eight inches long and weighs two ounces. Most scorpion bites are as harmful to humans as a bee sting. The Red Indian Scorpion, however, has lethal venom and can kill a human. Although technically arachnids, Daddy long legs aren’t spiders. They are more closely related to mites and tics. Tarantulas can regrow lost limbs.

These are just some of the highlights. I haven’t memorized the body segments or their genus, kingdom, phylum, species names, but the week has only just begun. I have very high hopes.

If Ellie could, she would drink juice all day everyday and wouldn’t care if she were floating in a stream of juice urine. It doesn’t work with her to just tell her, “Honey, you’ve had enough juice today. You’re teeth will rot and fall out in your hand.” I made three little square cards with juice on them that we keep on our fridge. Ellie can have them any time of day and just needs to remove the cards as she uses them up knowing we start all over the following day. There also happens to be a card for chocolate milk. This system is smoother than vaseline on a baby’s bottom. Following was a conversation held in the car on the way home from school today.

Ellie: Mom, can I have chocolate milk when we get home?

Me: You know honey, we finished up the chocolate milk yesterday. We’ll have to get more at the store.

Ellie: No. I’ll have some when we get home. You made the card!

This is of the, “I can’t be out of money. I still have checks.” school of thought.

I’m so proud of my girl! We had a big family shindig in Iowa this past weekend called Pheasgiving. There were 71 people in attendance. 637 of them were children. We rented a legion hall and had tons of food and lots of room for kids to jump and play.

No social story I could write would really prepare my little Petunia for the craziness that ensues at this function. The moment we entered, she melted down. We found a quiet corner in the back and just kind of took in the sights and sounds. Ellie’s Aunt Pam visited with us and Ellie was in heaven! Aunt Pam has this soft voice and asked Ellie lots of questions. Aunt Pam was awesome! Her awesomeness factor went through the roof when she suggested getting a snack. That’s the moment when Ellie felt brave enough to weather the chaos and head to the feeding trough (a trait she shares with her Momma).

After we ate, Ellie decided to sit with other kids at the craft table as long as I went with her. Ellie’s little Cindy Lou Who of a cousin quietly approached. They’d never met. Ellie turned to her and asked “Would you like to play with the circle or star?” Then an ambulance was called to resuscitate me. That small, solitary moment in time will be forever vivid in my memory. For the rest of the night, the two of them jumped and played together. Away from me. On their own. Truly enjoying one another’s company.

I tried hard to talk to the adults and concentrate on conversations, but my focus was really elsewhere. Relishing every minute I could take in watching Ellie enjoy herself. Then, as if it couldn’t get any better, I was able to get a picture of the two of them! Aren’t they just squeezalicious?!

We believe in offering our child many experiences. Teach them well and let them lead the way is not just a line in a song. It’s never too early to start earning your keep in this economy.

Our friends came over for lunch today. One of those friends is a certain 13-year-old named Anna whom Ellie thinks hung the moon. When I informed Ellie this morning that they were coming over, she asked me every thirty seconds for two hours, “Are they coming over? Are they here yet?”.

We had a great visit and Anna let Ellie tell her where she needed to hide for living room hide and seek. After they left, Ellie asked me if they indeed had to go home. When I told her they did, she replied, “That’s too bad. I’d sure like to keep Anna.”