Ben’s car wouldn’t start this morning. I’m hoping it just needs a new battery and doesn’t have anything to do with that pesky check engine light that’s been on for a few months. Living paycheck to paycheck is okay until something breaks. However, the song we got to listen to during our commute took our minds off all financial woes. It was rather free form. Sung softly from the backseat and is still making me smile this afternoon.

We love everythiiing today.
We LOVE everything.
We love the clouds in the sky and the roads and the signs.
We love the apple juice and the kittens too.
We looove the arch when we seeeee the arch.

We love everything today.
We love the playgrounds and the slides and all the school work today.
We love the friends of the world today.
We love all the things in the world.

We love everything in the world today.
We love the lights and the sculptures and the buildings of the world.
We love trucks and cars and even motorcyyyycles too.
We love the butterflies of the world flying all around.

Yes we love everything today.

I’m a little sweaty. My friend Karen asked me to guest blog for her at Chameleon in the Spectrum. I’ve never been invited to write a guest post. Come to think of it, I don’t get asked to be a guest much any place, so I am extremely honored. It’s one thing to write a bunch of garbage on my own blog, but to let that garbage spill over onto another, well, makes me sweaty. Please don’t judge her for being my friend. We all have momentary lapses. In my case, it’s less momentary and more on-going, but I digress.

My friend, Karen, over at solodialogue.wordpress.com bestowed a few of us Mamas with an Honorary Oprah Award. Now, don’t get too excited. I’m not givin’ away any Chevys. I am, however, providing a transcript of an interview with Ellie. This has been fun and I’ve enjoyed reading what the other kids have had to say. Grace over at thatsrightisaiditdotmom.wordpress.com is one of those Moms who makes me laugh lots and lots (note to self: poise pads are on sale).

Ellie, what do you want to do when you grow up?
Everything.

But if you had to pick just one thing today, what would you pick?
But I like all the things.

Right. But, your job right now, is to just pick one. After this interview, you can pick everything again.
Bee keeper and an ice skater. Do I have to wear something on me to be a bee keeper?

I believe so, to protect you from stings. Those are two great choices.

Favorite holiday? What makes it best?
I like all of the holidays.

Yeah. It’s hard to choose. But see if you can just pick one for right now.
Halloween because is its scary. Making up costumes.

If you could live anywhere, where would move?
I’d live in all the places. [Are you sensing a theme here?]

Yep. It’s hard to choose, but could you be a lamb and just pick one for Mama?
I’d live in the city. There’s many towns. A maze because I can turn my eyes into dots like cities.

Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?
Kaleigh, Jaiydyn and Lucy at school. My friends are the girls. They play with me.

You have some mighty good friends, don’t you?

What toy would you buy for your best friend’s birthday?
A rainbow toy that lights up with all of the colors and then there’s lots of buttons to push with all the colors and then they glitter and sparkle. And also a candy one. A light up candy one.

What do you want for your own birthday?
Chocolate edmames. I just like that they’re chocolaty.

What family rule do you think is the most unfair? Why?
I don’t like when you use your rough voice. It hurts my ears and stuff and then I get mad when they try and hurt my ears and that’s how I get super mad. And then when you use your rough voice I go to my bedroom and take a time out. Then someone comes into my bedroom and I hide my face because I don’t want someone to see my face.

Well honey, that’s something you don’t like. But do you remember what rules are? What is a rule you don’t like?
When we start to get mad, I walk away. That’s one of my rules. I don’t like any rules.

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This was the official end of the interview, but Ellie wanted more questions.

What is your favorite color?
I like all the colors. [Knowing I'm going to insist on choosing, she immediately follows it with...] Peach.

Who do you like to watch best on tv?
Dora. And also Diego. But, I like my own show that I make up that I can tell other people about the princess.

What’s your favorite food for breakfast?
Cherries and strawberries for breakfast.

How about lunch?
Green beans for lunch.

And what do you like best for dinner?
Rosemary rolls.

Chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry? Which is the best ice cream?
I know I like all of them. Insert my “choice please” face. Chocolate.

What is your favorite toy?
Crafts.

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Ellie still didn’t want to end interview time. So Karen, I’m sending her to your house for the 60 minute Barbara Walters Special. Good luck with that.

I’m not one who subscribes to guilt. I grew up Catholic and am now reformed. However, I got served a guilt cocktail with a gut punch chaser yesterday. I’m still feeling a little fragile.

So, Ellie is four now. The strides she has made are nothing short of miraculous when it comes to kicking Asperger’s right in the ass. She is and will always be my hero. On the patience scale, I think I do pretty well. But, I’m a Mom. A human one. And with that comes the occasional crack in my veneer.

Never does Ellie leave my side while at home. She was never a baby to crawl into another room to get into things. I am her companion and toy. We play together a lot. She rarely plays with toys. Instead, she follows me. Everywhere. If I need to unload the dishwasher, I will try to set her up with an activity only to find her by my side before the dishwasher door has been completely opened. For the most part, I just make it work but on days where I’m rushing from room to room, trying to get ready for something, it’s disconcerting to nearly step on her over and over. I’ve explained to her that she lives in her wonderful house and her wonderful house wants her to go into any of the rooms any time she wants – especially her own room where there are fun things to play. Following Mommy is sometimes just boring.

Ben and I had a wedding to attend yesterday and my frustration level peaked. I told her I needed her to go in the other room and eat her graham crackers so I could finish. I pleaded with her to do something other than follow me ALL THE TIME. I actually said, “honey, it’s just not healthy”. Of course, my literal girl said, “You mean following you can make me sick?” I explained that it’s just a good idea to do lots of different things.

She obliged. After five minutes she came to me and said, “Mama, I’m sorry I’m aggravating. Of all the things to do, I just like being by you the most. I love you.” Even as I write this, I can’t stop the tears from welling up. I stooped down, told her that she is my most favorite person in the whole world and I there is no one I love more. She let me hug her big (and for a kid who used to never allow hugs, I drink them in like nectar). When she pulled away and looked in my face, she asked, “Did I just give you some happy tears?”. That would be a resounding, “YES!”. For so many reasons.

I’ve only shared this story with a couple of people who I know will appreciate it without saying “enjoy them while they’re young…some day you’ll miss this time”. The only phrase that makes me pucker more is, “all kids do that” in response to explaining some of the behaviors of children with Autism.