Many on the Autism spectrum have difficulty with theory of mind. Presuming that others have unique ideas, thoughts, and feelings different from their own. Ellie definitely has challenges with it. Last night, however, was the CUTEST example of this. EVER.

Ellie was on my lap, head back, under my chin. I was lightly moving my fingertips up and down her arm. When I stopped, she reached over, picked up my hand, put it back on her arm, and moved it up and down, indicating she was not finished with this luxurious moment. I started to giggle and so did she. I told her I used to do the very same thing to my Mom when she stopped tickling my skin. Ellie said, “YOU DID?!?! Boy, you and your Mom were really good guessers.” To her, the only reason my own Mom and I would have ever done that is because we knew Ellie would do the same thing. Funny. In that moment, I couldn’t think of a better explanation. So, we’re going with it.

P.S. I miss you Mom. You would have delighted in your granddaughter.

While working on several craft projects today, Ellie said, “I think it’s important to make homemade gifts for people. I want them to remember me when I’m dead.” Look out Meryl Streep. You’re about to be schooled in drama by an almost five year old.

Me: Ellie, do you know that our good friends are on their way to England? It’s a long trip so they’re taking a plane.
Ellie: Well that’s exciting!
Me: It is. Maybe when they get back we can get together and hear all about their trip.
Ellie: HEY! What about ours?!
Me: Our what?
Ellie: Our trip!
Me: What trip?
Ellie: We DID go to the horseradish festival today!

We may have a replacement perseveration. Is perseveration a word? I can’t be bothered with googling. You know how exhausting that can be. Opening a new window tab, typing, scrolling, blah and blah blah.

Back to perseveration. If it takes the place of the ever-exalted tank tops that preceded (I can’t even be bothered to relink to the thirty seven tank top posts as a reference. Take my word for it. I thought it would never end.), I would be willing to walk on my hands. For the rest of my days. Ellie has taken to showering. All by herself. It’s awesome. She takes two, sometimes three showers a day. AND, she tells everyone else about it. So, it’s a double-bonus whammy, if you will. The cashier at Target gets to listen to the 7-part lecture series on showering while I can kinda zone out, PLUS Ellie’s initiating conversations! I could care less if she scripts or lectures, she initiates conversations. With other people. Often times with some eye contact. I refuse to look further down the path to see when this might become problematic. At the moment, she smells like strawberries and I don’t have to answer questions about tank tops. SCHAWING.

I was at TJ Maxx today and while waiting to make my purchase, I noticed that they are asking for donations to Autism Speaks. It made me glad to see their support. A sign was posted at each register that if a cashier fails to ask you to donate, you receive a balloon. Given the $1500 our team raised in October, and the fact that Autism Speaks in our house daily, I was prepared to tell the cashier “no”. She, however, didn’t ask me. So I said, “I’d like a balloon, please.” She looked at me, blinked a few times, flipped her hair, and snapped her gum. I repeated that I’d like a balloon since I wasn’t asked to donate.

My cashier turned to her neighbor with another combination hair flip/gum snap, and said, “Yeah, so what’s the deal with the balloons?” Once informed, my cashier asked me if I wanted to donate. I politely told her, “No thanks. I just want my balloon. My daughter with Autism will enjoy it immensely and the next 100 customers you have to ask for a donation, will certainly thank me for their impending inconvenience.”

[4-Year-Old on Early Retirement]
Ellie: So. Mom and Dad. We have jobs at school. Every day we can pick what we want to do.
Me: How fun. What are your favorite jobs?
Ellie: Weather Reporter and News Reporter. BUT. You know WHAT? You can also go on v-cation! It’s not a trip or anything. You get to just sit back and relax. I never knew about that one. That’s my new favorite job.

[4-Year-Old Pawning of Baby on 5-Year-Old]
Ellie: Hey Lucy? Do you want a baby in your tummy?
Lucy: No.
Ellie: Me neither. Mom says it pinches when it comes out. That’s why I’m going to adopt a baby. Do you want to adopt a baby?
Lucy: Sure!
Ellie: Great! Then, maybe you could feed my baby or change its diaper for me when I have other things to do.

[Is Maya a Respite Care Provider or is Your Mommy Just Lame? When to let the "Autism Cat" Out of the Bag.]
Lucy: Hey Ellie, Maya’s coming to our house tonight.
Ellie: Oh. Maya comes to your house in the evening and to our house in the morning.
Lucy: Yeah. She comes for my brother because he has a hard time sometimes. I wonder why she comes to see you?
Ellie: Well, sometimes my Mom has a lot of work to do and doesn’t always have time to play with me.
Me: [holding breath and forgetting to exhale...dangerous, for said conversation took place while I was driving.]

[Tank Top Reprise]
Ellie: Mom, are you wearing a tank top?
Me: We’ve been over this. Sometimes I wear tank tops. Sometimes you wear tank tops. Sometimes you wear short-sleeved shirts. Sometimes Mommy wears short-sleeved shirts. It doesn’t really matter (tank tops, tank tops, tank top).
Ellie: So can I wear a tank top?

[Job Opportunity with Exceptions]
Ellie: Mom, I think I want to be a doctor when I grow up. But, I’m going to have to close my eyes when I give shots.
*Note: Please refer to the first conversation of this post…it’s not boding well for Dr. Ellie Hypodermic Caribbean Cruise, MD.

Today’s latest ice breaker at the park. Ellie said to an eight-year-old girl, “Hi. I like to eat flies.”

Ellie: Do you have a Mom?
Me: I used to.
Ellie: Where is she?
Me: Well, she couldn’t be here anymore but I love her very much.
Ellie: You must really miss her.

I don’t know what hit me harder. The honesty of how much I truly miss my Mom every single day or how my sweet little peanut was able to make this amazing connection. It was precious.

We had our very good friends come stay with us this weekend from the Chicagoland area. The kind of friends that provide wonderful, nonstop belly laughs, that often lead to peed pants. We don’t get to see them nearly enough. The two husbands exchanged secret emails prior to the visit to arrange a post-Valentine dinner out at a nice restaurant. Just for us grown ups. AWESOME.

I’m not really adventurous in the oceanic eating experience, but I felt like being a big girl and trying something new. Scallops. And, I loved them. All two and a half of them before I had an allergic reaction and had to go to the ER. After several shots of benadryl, steroids, and epinephrine, I was free to go. Do I know how to kick things up a notch er what? Luckily for us, it was a Mardi Gras freakfest in the ER, so we had lots of quality people watching.

This morning, Ben thought it might be interesting to let Ellie in on our adventure. Here’s how it went down:

Ben: Ellie, you know while you were sleeping last night, we had to take Mommy to the hospital?
Ellie: Awwwwwww. Have you seen my other pillow?

Apparently, I’ve forgotten how to blog/read blogs/comment for quite some time. Well, I guess forgotten isn’t the word (although I’m about six months shy of a dementia diagnosis, certainly). I’ve been so very busy. Being an old lady. See previous post. *Someone* had a great idea to make all of her Christmas gifts this year. So, I’ve been crocheting like a mad woman. I’m happy to report my momentum is still strong and if it continues, I’ll be making cozies for all the appliances and maybe even the cars.

Being away from the blogosphere has been a nice break but MAN, have I missed all my friends who make me laugh and help me feel sane (even if they’re just pretending…it’s lovely).

So, I must share my favorite Santa visit moment brought to you by one Ellie Bean and sponsored by one Daddy.

The night before (you thought I was going to say Christmas) we went to visit Santa, Ben had a conversation with Ellie about things she could tell him. Ellie wants nothing more to talk to Santa and loves him with every fiber of her being, but CANNOT look at him or utter a word in his presence.

CUE SCENE:
Ellie and I approach Santa. She is my second skin. I kneel near Santa and act as a buffer while trying to encourage her to talk about what she and Daddy practiced. Santa dutifully asked if she’d been a good girl and what she would like him to leave under the tree. He did his best, bless his heart. As I stood up, he tried one last time. “Is there anything at all you’d like to tell Santa?”

Ellie replied, “Mommy has issues”.
END SCENE.

So, this is what Daddy and Ellie practiced the night before. Ben will be getting a stocking full of reindeer poop this year.