While working on several craft projects today, Ellie said, “I think it’s important to make homemade gifts for people. I want them to remember me when I’m dead.” Look out Meryl Streep. You’re about to be schooled in drama by an almost five year old.

Ellie: I like this book about being thankful.
Me: That is a good one. Do you know what I’m thankful for?
Ellie: What?
Me: I’m thankful for such a fun, smart, beautiful daughter named Ellie!
Ellie: Do you know what I’m thankful for?
Me: (preparing to melt) What?
Ellie: Rainbow sprinkles at FroYo.

Ben’s car wouldn’t start this morning. I’m hoping it just needs a new battery and doesn’t have anything to do with that pesky check engine light that’s been on for a few months. Living paycheck to paycheck is okay until something breaks. However, the song we got to listen to during our commute took our minds off all financial woes. It was rather free form. Sung softly from the backseat and is still making me smile this afternoon.

We love everythiiing today.
We LOVE everything.
We love the clouds in the sky and the roads and the signs.
We love the apple juice and the kittens too.
We looove the arch when we seeeee the arch.

We love everything today.
We love the playgrounds and the slides and all the school work today.
We love the friends of the world today.
We love all the things in the world.

We love everything in the world today.
We love the lights and the sculptures and the buildings of the world.
We love trucks and cars and even motorcyyyycles too.
We love the butterflies of the world flying all around.

Yes we love everything today.

While exiting a tram at a local attraction, Ellie said to me, “Mom, if you have a baby in your tummy, do you have to go to the dentist for the dentist to pull it out? How does the baby get in there anyway? Do you go to Target, buy a pretend baby, get it batteries, then put it in your tummy so when it starts working, it comes out real? And, does it hurt?”.

After my response, which I won’t bore you with, because it was perfectly thought out, succinct, and age appropriate, I did tell her that having a baby can pinch a little. She took this time to inform me that she will NEVER. EVER. Have a baby. And, that she will NEVER. EVER. Ride a school bus.

Duly noted.

Ellie: Mom, what’s a nut crack?

Me: Excuse me? [trying secretly to bide time to come up with something appropriate...for nut crack...nut and then crack]

Ellie: What’s a nut crack?

Me: Well, tell me where you heard that before?

Ellie: Daddy.

Me: [Why does he ALWAYS do this to me? Says all kindsa crap that I have to clean up. Ugh! What could he have possibly said this in relation to that I can muster up some kind of.....]

Ellie: You know, about ballet.

Me: OooooOOOoohhhhh. The Nutcracker.

[Note to self: Go ahead and get a Nutcracker - this won't be the last time you'll need to use one.]

Ellie: Mama! Are you crying?!

Me: No honey. I’m holding my eye for a second.

Ellie: Why?!

Me: You whipped me in the eye with that willow branch and it kinda hurts.

Ellie: As long as you don’t cry. It scares me if you cry.

Ellie [8:30 am]: Daddy, will you make me some eggs?

Ben: Sure, honey.

Ellie: Will you make the eggs with salt?

Ben: Yep.

Ellie: When will you make me the eggs with salt?

Ben: Right now.

Ellie: When will they be ready?

Ben: I’m cooking them right now. I’ll let you know when they’re ready?

Ellie [8:31 am]: Um, Daddy? Are you sure you’ll tell me when they’re ready?

Ben: Yes. Now that’s enough questions about eggs. I’m cooking them and will tell you when they’re ready.

Ellie: Can I ask you about the salt on the eggs?

Ben: I’m going to put salt on the eggs.

Ellie [8:32 am]: Will you tell me when I can ask about the eggs with the salt?

Ben: If you ask me anything regarding the eggs again, you won’t be able to have any.

Ben [8:33 am]: Ellie. You’re eggs are ready!

Ellie: What?! Eggs?! They’re ready?! I totally forgot you were making ‘em.

Ellie’s CAT scan was yesterday. They are lovely at the Children’s Hospital. We had the nicest tech who demonstrated what would happen, and then afterward Ellie was compensated for her troubles with stickers and a pink popsicle. Following our appointment, we had to stop at the grocery store.

Checker: Hi pretty girl. Would you like a sticker?

Ellie: You know what?

Checker: What?

Ellie: I got a sticker AND a popsicle today.

Checker: Aren’t you a lucky little girl.

Ellie: [turning despondent] Well, it’s because I had to have a CAT scan.

Checker: [looking at me horrified] Oh my goodness! Are you okay?

Girl’s gonna milk this as long as she can. Can’t really say that I blame her.

There is a crisis of epic proportions at our household today. Meeper, blanket extraordinaire, who goes everywhere, has nipples, and got new shoes from Santa for Christmas, was placed on the floor next to the toilet during a morning peeper. Meep was already in dire need of laundering and that just pushed me over the edge. So, we are all waiting patiently by the dryer for the fluff cycle to complete. How many times can a three-year-old ask, “How much longer ’til he’s finished, can you set the timer, will you tell me when he’s ready?” in 90 minutes? We’re up to 12,327. I’m fairly certain if they made unfiltered Camels for three-year-olds, mine would be huffing on one now.

Today’s Sunday Morning Lecture Series with Professor Bedhead is about Flower Pectum. This will be on the final exam.