Wednesday, 30. March 2011 16:09
My Ellie Bean has the MOST sing songy voice. I love it. This is how she talks. ALL THE TIME. From the moment her feet hit the floor in the morning. She uses this voice to direct the actors in her life to perform in very specific ways. ALL THE TIME. Peter Jackson, make way.
There is no sitting down to just watch a movie with Ellie. The conditions must be perfect and those seated to join her are in for a rude awakening if there is any assumption that movie watching is a passive activity. Her direction starts with such polite enthusiasm. When she detects some artistic differences, she utilizes a different approach. When that fails, we’re usually looking at some sort of meltdown.
Ellie: Mom, you look SO uncomfortable on the couch. How would you like to sit on the ottoman?
Me: Thanks for your concern, honey. I’m really quite comfortable here.
Ellie: You know, maybe you could sit some place else. Your bones might start hurting.
Me: Well, I’m kind of settled in here but it’s nice of you to be concerned with my skeletal structure.
Ellie: I can’t watch my movie because I can see you.
Me: Maybe you could just not look at me.
Ellie: I’m not looking at you, but you’re distracting (hmmm…pot…kettle?). Would you please go in your office?
Me: I can’t see the movie from there and I’d love to watch it with you.
Ellie: You’re TOO distracting! I can’t concentrate!
Me: Well, maybe we could just not watch the movie at all.
Ellie: Oh alright! Can you at least cover your feet?! They’re gross.
Me: Yes. After you rub them.
Ellie: NOO!!!!!!!!! [starting to sob]. Sniffle. Sniffle. Are you teasing me?