We were in the Chicago area this past weekend for a family wedding. It’s family I haven’t seen in over five years and IT WAS SO FUN! If you want someone to lead the limbo at your next special event call me, I might know some people.

Just prior to the ceremony, I whispered to Ben that if he happened to forget anyone’s name, in all likelihood, it’s either Mary or Mike – two of the most popular saint names on this side of the family. After sneaking in quick hello hugs to several cousins before kick off, Ben leaned over to me and said, “Remind me, which cousin that is.” I replied, “That’s Mary”. Why doesn’t he pay attention?

Ellie: Mom, what’s a nut crack?

Me: Excuse me? [trying secretly to bide time to come up with something appropriate...for nut crack...nut and then crack]

Ellie: What’s a nut crack?

Me: Well, tell me where you heard that before?

Ellie: Daddy.

Me: [Why does he ALWAYS do this to me? Says all kindsa crap that I have to clean up. Ugh! What could he have possibly said this in relation to that I can muster up some kind of.....]

Ellie: You know, about ballet.

Me: OooooOOOoohhhhh. The Nutcracker.

[Note to self: Go ahead and get a Nutcracker - this won't be the last time you'll need to use one.]

I got to spend my Mother’s Day with my daughter and mother doing what I love more than anything else – planting flowers. It’s a real tribute to how far we’ve come in the last four years. We were in survival mode, and that way of living didn’t leave room for the niceties in life.

I got my love of flowers from my Mom. One of the thousands of things we’ve enjoyed together over the years is planning for, combing nurseries for, and planting our gardens together. Yesterday, for the first time in four years, I wanted nothing more than to do that again.

Ellie helped me choose flowers and her excitement to be part of this was adorable. “Mom! Look at those. Can I smell them? Oh, they are WONDERFUL! Let’s get some of those. What are they called? You mean these will grow down over the pot real long? That’s incredible! I can’t wait to help you plant them.” The Grandma ladies in the aisles with us were hysterical listening to her.

My Mom has actually been gone for nearly six years and never got to meet her beautiful granddaughter. But yesterday, I so felt her with us enjoying everything about the day – the sunshine, the flowers, but mostly being together. And, it is so befitting that, of all days for me to rekindle the hobby I enjoyed with her, it was Mother’s Day.

Following is an email I sent to some close family and friends today who aren’t on facebook (cause I totally already posted it there). I’m copying it here so I don’t forget about it during this journey. Thank you, Karen, for introducing me to “A Diary of a Mom”.

April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day. It kicks off a month of programs and events world wide. One thing I think that’s really amazing is something called “Light it Up Blue” through Autism Speaks. Companies from all over are lighting their buildings blue to spread support and awareness for Autism. The Empire State Building is participating! I’m trying to do my part to spread the word to President Obama that those of us who love, cry for, encourage, and fight for a child with Autism, would love to see the White House participate and Light it Up Blue.

I never really thought of myself as an activist. I don’t know if this counts. All I know is that you have been so important in the lives of the parents who have a little but mighty 3-year-old girl with Autism. Please take a minute to read the following letter to the President, written from a Mom who many of us consider our voice. You can include a reply like I did, if you want to. Or, maybe you’ll wear blue those days and tell people that you love or know someone with Autism. Light the White House Blue.

Much love,

Kara

P.S. As if you haven’t had enough reading. The following message was written by the same Mom who wrote the letter to President Obama. I read it shortly after Ellie’s diagnosis and I have yet to find anything that describes what it’s like to be a parent of a newly diagnosed child. Even if you don’t read it, you might meet someone down the road who could benefit from this. Welcome to the Club.

Again…

Much love,

Kara

P.S.S. Please feel free to forward this to one or 5,000 others. ; )

As long as I can remember my Irish Grandma threw one heck of an annual St. Patty’s Day party. Her tiny brick house somehow managed to hold a hundred people. Aside from the delicious corned beef, irish whiskey, and laughter that made its way to Blarney and back, I remember all the decorations. They were Grandma decorations. You know the ones. Handmade doilies, embroidered hand towels with shamrocks, kelly green and white checked quilts, pillows with green piping, and aprons with shamrock pockets. There wasn’t one inch of the house not covered in green or orange.

I’m trying hard to continue the tradition and recreate some of the decorations (none of which were over the top at all) that remind me of the most amazing times with family, many of whom are no longer here to raise their glasses in a collective “sláinte” (Gaelic for cheers/good health).

I love that yarn wreaths are back! I used a styrofoam wreath and wrapped it in two shades of green. I hadn’t made felt flowers since I was a kid, so I had a ball trying some different techniques. Ultimately, each petal was made from a circle that I folded in half, then met the two ends with my glue gun. The centers were made from felt cut into a spiral and wound around itself to make rosettes. I painted a chipboard letter and attached it with wire floral ribbon. I think Grandma would approve.

I’m excited to share this in the Lil Blue Boo/Dharma Trading Design Challenge www.lilblueboo.com.

I am currently the wife of a Federal District Court Law Clerk. Open your doors and windows and listen for this. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That’s me screaming. I have no voice left. Ben went in at 10:00 am for an interview this morning and received a call from the judge at approximately 11:07 with a job offer. I’m so happy I might make out with both of them.

We took my Grandma Aggie out with us to celebrate tonight. Ben had linguine calamari. As a result, Ellie came home with a 2″ squid in a to go cup. That’s for a later post.

The purpose of this post is to scream from the rooftops that I couldn’t be more proud or happy for my hard-working, deserving husband. Also, I’ll be glad to no longer be on food stamps.

Santa arrived at our house last night to accommodate all of our holiday travels. Bless his heart. I am truly glad this comes but once a year. I’ve already enjoyed a bloody mary. Here’s why. One, I like them. A lot. Two, although Santa brings the holiday spirit, cheer, and above all gifts, he’s also a taker. Yes. The big guy takes. He is the remover of routine, the safe haven in which the Ellie Bean finds comfort.

Opening gifts was great. It’s what happens afterward that brings forth the ticking in my left eyelid. See, things have to be perfect. Lined up a certain way. Unencumbered by other things like a piece of fuzz or stray tissue paper. Many toys are required to remain in their packaging for an indefinite amount of time. Adults not positioned in their assigned seats are reminded to refer to the Aspergers guide for their assigned holiday scripts. Note to self: prepare several copies of script for family members we will be visiting for ten days. Yep. Ten very long days. Note to self: purchase more bloody mary ingredients.

We are all getting slap happy. A frequent thread in conversation is tequila. Margarita recipes. Tequila shooters. Tequila with beer. Tequila on beer. Mainlining tequila. At least we’re not obsessing about crystal meth.

During these past two weeks, Ellie has not only taken up potty training again, but she requests the pee pee dance parade around the building to share her success with everyone and anyone who will listen. This is the same child who would have rather chewed on broken glass than be visible to a stranger much less announce to a group that she pee peed in the potty. Less than a seven months ago, claps and cheers from anyone (family included) would have sent her into a melt down of unbelievable proportions, leaving her shaking like a cold chihuahua. Today, we had to circle the building three times to seek out our personal cheerleaders, who now have to all come home and live with us so the pee pee dance parade can continue.

Ben and I have also made the commitment to eliminate the words “no”, “don’t”, “stop”, and “can’t” from our vocabulary. Rephrasing statements that include those words takes lots of practice (and libation referred to in paragraph one). For parents who I think are pretty good at praising, I am continually surprised by the frequency and ease with which we say them. It’s amazing how quickly we’ve seen changes already with our still imperfect attempts.

Tomorrow is our last day and I’m already looking forward to staying in my jammies all day Saturday. I’d like to give a shout out to a certain husband who is quite remarkable. He worked 3rd shift Monday and Wednesday, came home, showered, and went straight to training with us. He works again tomorrow night. Twice during these two weeks he has had interviews, both on days he’s been up all night. If I could love him anymore, I’m pretty sure my heart would explode. Ellie is the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing and dedicated Daddy.

Ellie knocked this one out of the park! Although we’ve attended numerous gatherings at (not to mention lived with) my cousin’s, I have learned (the hard way) that detailed prep work is where it’s at. I was unable to gather the photos of all in attendance, so a couple of hours before the party, I relied on my buddies Fisher and Price. I dragged out the house and all the people I could find, including the vintage pieces I had as a kid.

I set all of this up on the floor and started with our family driving over, getting out of the car, knocking on the door, and mimicking the chaos of the dogs going bonkers, the loud hellos and big hugs and chatter and clinking of glasses and where we would sit and what we would talk about and what we would eat and how things would smell and how we might eat some more and have dessert and talk again in different rooms and then maybe play games and get our coats on and tell everyone goodbye and go home and pass out.

Ellie didn’t take her eyes off of this five minute presentation. When I was finished, she wanted me to do it again. She watched with equal intensity. She asked for seven repeat performances and I obliged. On the eighth, however, my heiney had fallen asleep on the hardwood floor and I needed the assistance of all adults present. After I got up, she played with it all. This is miraculous in two ways. One, she didn’t miss a single detail and two, it was the first time she’s ever played with the house and people on her own.

We had such a great time. Ellie even played a dice game with us, waited her turn (and there were eight of us), rolled the dice, picked out the ones she was supposed to without being reminded and passed the cup. It was like sitting next to my Grandma at the retirement home. She was that cute!

Due to the sensory issues of my CrickTishAngelBabyBiscuit, music is unwelcome in our home with a small handful of exceptions:

1) The lullaby CD at bedtime. And I mean, the one and only. God help us if it ever gets scratched.
2) Good Luck to the Barleymow
3) Pave Paradise
4) We are Family
5) Car radio music only when specifically requested
6) The jumping on the bed CD – to be played only while jumping on the bed. God help us if it ever gets scratched.

Numbers 2-4 must be played in order. My singing along with 2-4 is acceptable only after the pulls from my office blinds are placed on each of the conductor’s index fingers like thimbles. All other music is played while the wee one is asleep or in Brussels. As a lover of the Christmas tunage, this is a difficult one for me. However, my spirits were lifted when I received requests for singing them. Unfortunately, for the rest of you, along with standing room only at our house this holiday season (please see post below), my voice will be the Christmas background music here. On a good note, we’ll have plenty of wine for you.