Monday, 16. January 2012 15:57
Today is brighter. Whew!
I’m a logical individual but when there is regression, my emotions take hold and I’m thrown back to my personal Vietnam. I’m taken back to the time when thirty-sixty minute meltdowns occurred several times a day if:
* I would walk out of a room first.
* I got my baby girl in the morning and would be met without a smile or outstretched arms, but instead pacing or rocking, that got ugly when interrupted.
* mentioning leaving the house.
* not planting my hostas in a perfect line (when she was two…TWO).
* disturbing anything that she lined up…dining room chairs, pens, books, seeds, and the list goes on.
* going into a public restroom where the sound of flushing toilets or hand blowers were just too much.
* not being able to walk around vents or fans in any public place.
And the list goes on. Even though Ellie has come miles and miles away from that place and is doing so well, my logical self is nowhere to be found when there is regression. The heart and soul of me just can’t bear to see her in that pain and I can’t bear feeling so trapped and helpless.
The nice thing is that the regression doesn’t last and neither do my flashbacks.