The living room and dining room were, for once, spotless. There was no clutter on any of the tables. No toys were strewn on the floor to threaten unsuspecting bare feet. Everything was in it’s place. I sighed a happy sigh, took a quick mental photograph and moved on to the kitchen. Boy howdy. I alphabetized spices, cleaned out crap drawers, and arranged dishes feng shui style so I could breeze through my baking with a whistle rather than a pirate shanty filled with expletives. After the floor was mopped, the final phase of project kitchen spic and span, I stepped back to relish in the delight. I even saw a few animated twinkles with accompanying audio from my highly-polished appliances. As a reward, I poured myself an icy cold diet coke and returned to the living room to put my feet up for a few minutes.

[cue the WEH! WEH! WEH! sounds from psycho]

The television armoire drawers were wide open. Computer paper was laid end to end in a path from the front door to the kitchen. Six small blankets were formed into neat piles in the shape of a star on our large ottoman. Highlighters were arranged in an arc on the floor. Acorns formed a line from the middle of the highlighter arc to the west wall. A dozen small, hardback books were lined end to end as a platform for a dozen small plastic animals with really big, unblinking eyes that stared at me like miniature stepford wives. I am breathless.

[enters Ben]

“Wow!”, he said. Living with Ellie is like living with a poltergeist.